The Question of Fullmetal
by Nightmother
Summary: People have been calling Edward Elric short for ages; usually the moment they met him out came the short jokes. And frankly he was sick and tired of it. Luckily he found something that being short was good for.


Hi all. This is a new little thing I thought up while watching a skit on youtube. It was from Anime Punch 2010, and is the brain child of a youtube user named souls123123. I don't own the actual idea of this, however I was inspired to extend it and had my fanfic juices flowing. If you want to see what inspired this little oneshot then either type in "short ed skit" into the search bar or attempt the link below.

www . youtube watch ?v= ntu8lQxqN9k

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><p>Ed ground his teeth as he stormed down the hall to Roy's office, feeling slightly better at seeing everyone scrambling to get out of his way. As he thought of his plan he lost whatever happy emotions he had gained. He had finally found a way to get Roy with the short jokes, a discovery made by complete accident, and he was going to get the old man to stop. Ed paused just outside Roy's office door for a moment, wondering if he really wanted to do this. While it may make everyone stop with the short jokes, it may just open another door best kept closed. Oh what the hell.<p>

Ed kicked the door open and stomped up to Roy's desk. He twitched when he finally noticed the others in the room. Not what he wanted, but it would have to do.

"Oh hello Fullmetal, didn't see you there. By the way, your late with your last report." Ed hissed and stomped his metal leg, enjoying the slight tremor that shook the room.

"Enough with the short jokes!" Came the loud cry. A pained expression took over Ed's face. "I get that I'm short, I get that I'm not getting any taller. It'd be a miracle if I did to be honest." Ed rather enjoyed the shocked faces of everyone. It was well known he hated being called short, so much so that he'd never said the word himself.  
>"But I don't need the shit I get from everybody!" Suddenly a smirk took over the pained expression. "However I've found I actually don't mind being short." Jean chuckled.<p>

"After all these years of hating, what made you like being short?" Ed bristled but held down the instinctive rant that wanted to burst from him at being called short, hoping that what he had planned would stop it. Well it was now or never.

"Cause, I can do this." Ed took an exaggerated step forward and let his body fall to the floor, his feet sliding further apart as he came down. Ed was almost bursting with glee at the shock, and disturbed in some cases, on their faces as he sat there on the floor in a full front split (one leg in front, the other out the back). Slowly he brought his legs around so he was in a side split (legs spread out each side) before bringing his feet under him and standing up. Ed flick his braid back over his shoulder, chucked his completed report on the table, and turned to leave.  
>"Let's see you do that Roy." With that Ed left, happy at the gob smacked looks on his superiors' faces. Though like before he had the slight fear that something worse than being called short would become of this. Ed shook his head, whistling as he left headquarters. Nothing was going to ruin his day.<p>

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><p>The next morning as Ed was walking into headquarters an officer stopped him and asked if it was true. Ed had replied of course with:<p>

"What the hell are you talking about?" The officer shifted nervously, before obviously gathering his courage and asking.

"Can you really go into a full split?" Ed blinked before frowning. Ed just nodded and continued on down the hall, leaving the officer where he was with the disbelieving look on his face. As Ed passed the door that led to the cafeteria the entire room went silent and Ed felt a shiver travel up his spine feeling the numerous eyes trained on him.  
>Roy was very clipped and tight lipped when he gave out Ed's assignment for the day. Just more lousy paperwork, but the odd mellow feel about the flame Alchemist has Ed on edge. After that Ed just kept his head down low and did his work, avoiding all contact from the other officers and alchemists. Lunch came around and sadly so did Jean Havoc, who had decided he was to make sure Ed ate something that day. Like earlier that morning when Ed walked past the cafeteria, when he walked in the entire room went silent. After a few moment he was bombarded with questions being sent his way, and from what he could make out all about his little stunt yesterday.<p>

"Shut Up!" the room was silent again. Ed jumped up onto a table and looked around. What would the harm be? Ed shrugged and slid down into a split on the table. Shouts and wolf-whistles erupted, making Ed's face go bright red. At first the comments he could hear weren't so bad, ranging from being amazed with his flexibility to being jealous of it. Until one comment caught his ear, and sadly that of others. It was quickly spread around the room.

"Fullmetal is female?" Ed scowled and thrust a fist the officer that shouted it so loudly. This was going to be worse than the short thing.


End file.
